The number one challenge I deal with every time I talk to people about defining their voice for social media, or taking to the stage to share their message, or any work that will boost them into the stratosphere – where they so clearly deserve (and need) to be – is that they do not think they are worthy.
For International Women’s Day (#IWD19) and while this is not just a women thing – many men struggle too – it is definitely more prevalent in women, from my experience in doing the work I do.
And so, I wanted to write about it today, on IWD, because the momentum towards equality has started to head backwards…. And I can’t tell you how disappointed I am about that!! It’s in no one’s interest to let that slide continue, because no one wins when we don’t have equality.
Therefore, my message to the ladies (and men impacted) with an internal voice that tells them they’re not worthy of success, is: it’s time to identify this internal voice, recognize it for what it is – a saboteur – and tell it to go away.
That inner voice can be all consuming, and I know this because I’ve been battling that voice all my life. It is insidious. It never stops talking to you, telling you you’re not worthy, telling you you’re not good enough, telling you to play small.
Well must not accept that voice and we must NEVER AGREE TO PLAY SMALL, because it’s time to launch #ladybadass’s everywhere!
How do you know it’s worth ignoring? Simple! Ignore any voice in your head that is negative, because it is lying to you. That’s it.
If your internal narrative is not propelling you forward, telling you to be brave and embrace life the way you want it, well that voice is full of it. If it’s not helping you be more, achieve more, live more, it is not a voice worth listening to.
But I’m not worthy
As an example, a lady was recently telling me that her community has been asking her to teach them what she knows on a specific topic. Immediately, I’m thinking, if people are asking you to do something, guess what? They think you have something valuable to share.
However, this lady then told me all the reasons why she wasn’t worthy. She had huge self-doubts. Something I’m all too familiar with. And I said: get rid of that narrative. You ARE worthy, because your community is already telling you that you are, so go go go and stop listening to that mean little voice telling you otherwise.
Seriously switch that voice off right now. It is wrong. It is lying! And trust me, I have no idea why we have the voice. It makes no logical sense. But it is real, and it has a massive impact on many people in the world today.
Besides no one wants to spend time learning from someone they don’t believe in. This lady I was speaking with has a community who believes in her, so it’s time for her to start believing too.
The relentless voice
The problem with the voice in your head is it keeps coming back. That’s tough, because when it re-emerges it can be even more convincing, and it makes you really question yourself and your sanity. You actually start believing you are deluding yourself. You’re not. Your egoic voice is just trying to diminish you.
So it is important to know that once you get the voice under control, BAM, out of nowhere, it can come back again and again and again. It will never stop trying if your voice is like my voice. It’s mean and it works really hard to convince you too.
In the work I’ve done on shutting my own internal voice down, I’ve discovered that the opportunity is – once you recognise it for what it is and identify it as separate – you can hear it and say: NO I Will Not Listen To You Anymore.
Yes, this is hard to be successful at. It gets its claws into me often.
The key thing is seeing it as something separate to you. If you listen to any spiritual teacher talking about their own personal transformation, it always starts with identifying this internal dialogue as something detached from themselves. It’s incredibly powerful when you can detach from it. It loses its power over you.
Get the narrative under control
To those with a negative narrative in their heads (because not everyone has it and those who don’t often struggle to understand those who do, and vice versa) believe in your worth.
Silence this voice. Don’t believe its words. It is not worthy of you. Go and chase your dreams and believe anything is possible – because anything is possible if you believe it is. The only limits are those we put on ourselves, so let’s all live no-limit lives and get this world back on track to be the place we know it can be – a world in harmony with nature, where kindness, joy and respect rule our lives.
All I know is, if you can do this, I promise you’ll be delighted.
I believe the world needs all of the voices that deserve to be heard, to be heard. To step up, we first must stop paying attention to our internal saboteur, and if the voice in your head is not making your life greater, opening you up to accept amazing opportunities and more, then it is NOT worth paying attention to FULL STOP.
Believe me. It is true. I have fought and won over my negative voice, and while it never goes away, I will not let it be my master. Don’t let it be yours either.
So here’s to International Women’s Day and here’s to the day we won’t need International Women’s Day anymore, because we’ve all woken up to the fact that equality makes sense for everyone and it makes business sense too. So let’s get on with it and change the current predicament. No one wins when we don’t have true quality. We don’t win when we don’t have true diversity either.
The world is a beautiful place when equality and diversity are embraced. It’s an even more beautiful place when all those that are full of self-doubt, can unlock those unseen chains and get on with delivering their gift to the world. We are all waiting and ready to receive it.
If you want to acknowledge International Women’s Day
- Tell a lady you admire that you think she’s awesome and acknowledge the great work she is doing. Even better, why not copy them into a post on social media and let everyone know how amazing they are?
- Help anyone stuck in their negative voice to break free so they can give their gift to the world. Yes, it can take a lot of effort, but it’s so worth it
- Donate to one of the great organisations of the world that are doing amazing work for women and minorities. My favorite is Kiva.org – go and make a donation there
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I believe it’s time for all of us to embrace our voice and embrace the future. We do this by working and living out loud with meaning, intention and by being true to ourselves.
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